Who's dumber? The Totino's kid, or the Digiorno party?
Advertising often purports to solve the problems of really stupid people. I decided to start a tournament style competition to find the stupidest people in ads being aired in America today.
First up: the stupid people in two pizza-related ads. First we have the Totino's commercial where two stupid teenagers can't find a box of Totino's Pizza Rolls in the freezer, even though we can see that the bright yellow box is literally only inches away from their stupid faces.
To compound the stupidity, instead of just examining their own freezer more closely, the kids call mom. Mooooom! I'm hungry and too stupid to feed myself! Naturally mom knows the exact position of Totino's in their freezer, so she is able to snarkily guide them to nourishment.
Then the kid leaves the phone in the freezer. That is how dumb this kid is.
But personally, I think the joke's on mom. Because you know that stupid kid is going to somehow manage to burn down the house trying to cook those pizza rolls in the microwave. That'll teach her to leave her idiot children alone for more than 30 seconds.
Next up: this was a tough one. Every single person in every single DiGiorno ad is an idiot. But I chose this ad, because it implies an entire party's worth of idiots are being fooled by the flimsy ruse.
Freeze frame on the party. The man answering the door is presumably the homeowner. He is wearing sunglasses indoors, and a white scarf in combination with a three piece suit that even has a pocket square. Is he supposed to be Kanye West? Because I bet that you could fool Kanye West with a hat that says "PIZZA" on it.
In the background we see people dressed for a fancy party. A woman is wearing a sparkly blue dress. A man is wearing a tuxedo with a bow tie. The man next to him is wearing a fedora (indoors, tsk tsk). Is this the sort of party where you would order pizza in the first place? It looks more like a catered type of party to me.
If the host of a party doesn't know whether or not he ordered pizza, what else is going wrong at that party? Did he perhaps set out wads of duct tape as party favors? Chunks of raw bacon on a toothpick as cocktail snacks?
Because it implies a level of public idiocy, and because it depicts a grown-ass adult being stupid (let's be honest, teenagers are stupid all the time) I deem the stupidest person in this bracket to be: The Digiorno guy.